Organize Your New Year

In my last post, I talked about my goals for the year. It's an ambitious schedule -I'll cop to that - but it's also attainable if I break it all down into manageable units.
Units that I can work on every day.
Units that become part of my daily routine.

That's the Secret to being productive:

1. Set the goals.
2. Schedule the deadlines.
3. Work backwards from there so that you don't kill yourself.
4. As you accomplish a daily, weekly and monthly goal - mark it off. Chart your progress.

Most of you know me as a very practical guy. No flourishes nor fancy, flowery language making writing an almost mystical pursuit. No sermons about inspiration striking, and the work flowing down from on high. No secret to writing success. Ain't gonna happen, folks. Writing is a discipline, plain and simple. You either do it or you don't. Butt to chair. Fingers to keyboard.

To schedule the work, what I do is print out:

1. An MS Word Outlook calendar showing the entire year at a glance.
2. Then I also print out the individual months.

Then, I take out a red , green , and blue pen and get to work.

Red is for writing goals. I plot the deadline on the yearly calendar of a particular writing project.
Green is for producing goals. I plot it out on the yearly calendar in the same fashion.
Blue is for personal and networking goals. Events, reading and the like are plotted in here.

Then I plot it all out on the monthly calendars, breaking it down and working backward from there, scheduling my work: Outline by a certain date; then first draft; revision one; revision two; polish.

Wow, big secret huh? (not to mention low tech)

It's almost the New Year. I'm signing off now to do the pulp writer thing and get a bit tipsy. Okay, a lot tipsy. Here's to everyone who dreams it, and more importantly who works for it -- that first sale.

Your mad pulp bastard,

B

Happy Saturnalia!

Yes, it's that time between the Christmas holidays and the New Year, that the ancient Romans called "Saturnalia." It's the breathing room before the new year. I have taken some time off and not done much in the way of writing in order to re-charge my batteries. I hope everyone is having a restful Holiday.

Silent Bob is blissfully lying at my feet awaiting the time when he can go back home. I'd like to think he will miss my feet when he goes back to his owners. Even when I'm not at the desk he finds a way to sneak under either my or Roy's desk to sleep. We've broken him - he's now a "writer's dog."

This is also the time of the year to clear out the files and toss the things that need tossing - old magazines, papers, clothes for Goodwill, clippings, etc...

It's all so that we can start fresh for the new year and hit the ground writing. Some of it is catch up work, some of it is plowing new ground. I like to plan what the heck I'm doing long before I do it. It keeps me disciplined.

These long term goals will be broken down into more manageable monthly, then weekly units. Daily if I can take it that far. That way it doesn't seem so daunting. In 2005, I met 70% of my goals because I broke them down into units that I looked at and said, "Oh, I can do that." This year I plan to do better.

So what's on tap ? (aka My Goals for the Year)

1. Overall:

Increase income
Build the "Bill Cunningham" brand of writing & producing
Generate more awareness of my work at a studio level
Read, write, learn.

2. Material already written:

-Sell Wolfsbane. (Script ready to go to talent, production co's. Goal: Feb have talent)
-Send out Knightmare (Script near ready to send out. Goal: March)
-Set up B.E.M. (Treatment at production company. Set up as comic with artist attached? Goal: By end of year)
-Set up A.R.M.O.R. ( Treatment ready)


3. Production work to push forward:

-Last Horror Picture Show. (Goal: Feb/March have greenlight)
-Untitled Sci-Fi DVD Premiere Sequel by other writer (Goal: Answer by April. Needs rewrite)
- Creature Feature DVD Premiere (Goal: By end of year)
- Attach myself as producer to two screenplays/projects by other writers
- The Sound (not much to do since I'm not a producer on it, but whatever I can do I should do. This one has theatrical potential, which will be a big plus)


4. New material to generate:

-Thriller for Germany. (Treatment phase now)
-TV series proposal (In progress. Investigate rights for two series as well)
-Rewrite Skull (Goal: Have ready by July)
-Rewrite Patchwork ( Page one rewrite. Goal: By September. Investigate comic book option)
-Another short story for Black Coat Press (Idea already written. Goal: By July / August)


5. Networking:

-Attend more DVD Academy functions
-Attend 2006 Screenwriter Expo
-Organize and attend more local Scribosphere events (quarterly)
-Attend American Film Market
-Attend Comic Con
-Generate more referrals for people (You only get what you give)
-Contact and develop relationships with people who are higher up the chain (That's the only way I'm going to move up)
-Get an Agent and/or Manager (Goal: By July. Use Knightmare as sample)
-Find and contact people/companies I've lost touch with, and find out what they are doing
- Revise the look and links of this blog to make it more professional. Initiate rss links, google ads, etc... to build a wider audience

So these are my career oriented goals. I'm writing them down so I can a) stick to them, b) so that I am reminded of them and c) so that I can break these down into mangeable units so I don't feel worn out and overworked. Next time I'll show you how I do that.

Edit: In case it comes up, I'm not saying that my goals outlined here should be your goals. I'm simply saying that in order to be productive, you need to set and meet your goals.

More Brit For The Buck

While everyone else in the scribosphere has been watching Doctor Who: The Christmas Invasion, I was wrapped up in another British SciFi export The Tomorrow People.

I recently purchased both the first and second sets available from A&E DVD. The results are mixed:

I absolutely hate the packaging for both sets. it is cheap and totally doesn't do the show any sort of justice on the shelf. Even the original logo isn't used for the box! No stills on the back of the box, nothing to indicate any enthusiasm on A&E's part to really sell this show. A real disappointment.

The Tomorrow People as a concept for a series is great, and immediately falls into the whole X-Men category - outsiders who are protecting humanity even though they are feared and even hated by those same homo sapiens. Where it fails is in the execution of the show - poor acting, directing, production design, special effects - you name it, they botched it.

And yet...

The concept is so strong that you want to believe in the show. You want to "jaunt' (teleport), 'link' (communicate telepathically) and open your mind as easily as opening a clenched fist.

(Which, by the way, is a very powerful visual metaphor for the show as a whole and should have been used by A&E in their packaging. It has an almost X-Files opening credit sequence and it amazes that the design department didn't latch onto that. As a matter of fact, one of the villains of the show, The Doomsday Men, should have used the symbol of a clenched fist for their military uniforms...)

(See, I told you it was close to this!)

I understand that there are more seasons to come, and that the stories, while designed for children, do deal with issues of concern to all - prejudice, war, the environment, etc... There actually was one two part episode - "The Dirtiest Business" - that was quite adult. Would that creator Roger Price had written more episodes like that instead of drivel like "A Man for Emily".
I also understand that this show was remade in the nineties for the Nickelodeon cable network. I took a look at it and really wasn't impressed with the remake. The Tomorrow People at its best, is a show about revolution and evolution and becoming the person you were meant to become. It is a show about taking responsibility. It is a show that is filled with all of the teen angst of growing up.

These are themes that have been dealt with in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but in this case the metaphor would be scifi instead of horror. There is so much potential with the TP concept that you want a J. Michael Straczynski or a Joss Whedon to get hold of the rights and wash off all the crap that has calcified on the Tomorrow People's hull.

I do look forward to seeing the rest of the series when it comes out on DVD, but I will be taking these sets back to Amoeba and trading them in for store credit.

Silent Bob's Christmas

Picture One: "Oh no, you left. It's my bed now."

Picture Two: "Nope. Still too cold. I'll hold it."

Picture Three: "Can't you see I'm sleepin' here?"

My Christmas Wish To You

We've had an early Christmas gift-giving here at the Lab (aka The Secret Mountain Headquarters). Roy, my business partner is heading off to Vegas, so it's going to be me and Silent Bob, the landlord's dog. Bob is curled up in the chair (My chair, actually. Something we will soon fight over. He will win.) and is watching SIN CITY (uncut special edition) while I type this.

This morning, my landlord's wife came over crying - she lost her AAA card and she had a flat. No problem. Mister Bill to the rescue and twenty minutes later she was on the road. My good deed was done for the day.

Now the place is quiet. Even the traffic on the 2 and 5 freeways is down to a dull background buzz...

It's time for the annual Christmas Eve/Day marathon screening! Bob and I are going to curl up, pop some popcorn and enjoy:

LA FEMME NIKITA - Season 3
SLEEPER CELL - 2 hr. Finale
OVER THERE - 1st Three Episodes
SIN CITY - see above
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
SERENITY
MI 5 - Season 2
THE INTERPRETER
CAPTAIN VIDEO - Serial
FLASH GORDON - the 1950's bad television series starring Steve Holland
GUS VAN SANT'S LAST DAYS
MAD HOT BALLROOM
MADAGASCAR
THE PRODUCERS
EMPIRE FALLS
THE HAROLD LLOYD COMEDY COLLECTION

So --
Have fun.
Be with people (or not).
Remember what's important and just relax.

Merry Christmas,

Bill

Budgetary Considerations

Filospinato commented on a post regarding budgetary considerations and how they affect the final product - your movie. He supposed that the lack of budget really hindered the look and quality of his short film.

You are always going to run into money problems on a film. It happens even to the big guys. I was one of the many "soldiers" in the electric department of Die Hard With A Vengeance. That was an $80M film and it had problems with the budget.

Because you are an Indie filmmaker/writer you have to "solve" those problems creatively. You don't have any money to waste. The way you do that is by:

1. Mastering all of the tools at your disposal.
2. Preparation and design.
3. Experience.


Mastering the tools:

The best way to learn the capabilities of your equipment is to do it yourself. You should be shooting a lot of footage on your own. Experimenting with lighting, composition, settings etc... What look are you going for? How can you achieve it with the tools at your disposal?

The more you know about the tools, the more creative choices you have. It also allows you to bypass the standard thinking and come up with something creative to achieve the same effect. I was working on a movie called Ripe back in 1995/96 and we were shooting a scene from the woods out onto a roadway at night. In the rain. At the end of the road we had a crane with a 12K lamp shining down onto the scene. The problem was that the camera could see the crane in the frame. We didn't want to move the crane (that would have eaten up time and light) and we didn't want to move camera (again, time and we wouldn't have been able to get the shot we needed). So what to do?

The Producer suggested we wrap the lower half of the crane in black plastic to hide it. The DP said we could try it, and as the prop and scene crew went to do it, I raised my voice and said, "No!"

(Now understand, I was an electrician on this show. This really wasn't my call to make. But I've never really been shy when it comes to film)

I went over to the DP and the Producer and took a small leafy branch with me. I held the branch out on camera right and asked the DP to look through the lens. The small branch, up close to the camera like that, covered up the crane that was far away.

The DP smiled, looked at the Director and nodded. We could get her shot the way she wanted.

If I hadn't known about foreground, mid-ground and background, I wouldn't have been able to suggest the solution to the problem.

-------------------

Preparation and Design:

Many people are under the mistaken impression that low budget filmmaking means shooting on the fly, when the exact opposite is true:

The script is written for the budget and the tools available (location, actors, costumes, props).
It is developed and simplified.
All so that you can make a cool movie that can be marketed.

--------------------

Experience:

Like I said above, you should be shooting a lot of footage, playing with your equipment and learning how to do this thing called filmmaking. You shouldn't make one or two short films and expect to go off and make a full blown feature and expect to sell it.

You need experience. If your first films look crappy, then ask yourself, "Why?" Learn from your mistakes so that next time you don't repeat them.

I made a lot of crappy short films ("Effugium") and was involved as a crew person in a lot of low budget pictures ( Freakshow, Hellblock 13, Head Cheerleader / Dead Cheerleader, An Occaisional Hell) as well as a ton of commercials (Adluh Flour, Addams bookstore, Icee, Sports South, St. Patty's Day Parade, Linde Praxair, ad infinitum...) . My mistakes were onscreen for all to see (and they still are for that matter).

So what?

They say it takes ten years to become an overnight success. They say that everyone has one good script in them, but it's blocked by about fifteen crappy scripts. Go get some experience and don't worry about what other people think.
-----------------------------

You will find that putting these three concepts together - mastering the tools, preparation & design, and experience - you will be able to overcome any budget and any situation and create entertainment. Don't blame the budget (or lack thereof) - that's a cop out.

Our Shrinking Future

The big thing right now is to sit around and bitch and moan how bad the box office is, how movies suck and how Hollywood is really taking it in the shorts. Films like King Kong are expected to take in $100M the first weekend, and when they don't, the critics (of all shapes and sizes) say, "See, I told you. Hollywood doesn't make good movies anymore!"

Well guess what?

These people don't know what the hell they are talking about!
(There! Said in red bold type so you don't miss it)

These are the same folks that wish for white picket fences, remember the "good old days", and just don't get that the world has changed right in front of their eyes. Hollywood isn't just theaters anymore - in fact, theaters account for a much smaller portion of the income, behind Television and DVD.

(Let's not even get into the fact that we're all choking on video games' dust when it comes to entertainment sales.)

The world of entertainment is changing, and Hollywood has to change with it. You can't just look at box office numbers and say, "That movie is a loser." There are all sorts of factors to consider before you can say a film is awash in red ink.

And the time is coming when the big companies won't need a theatrical release. Big movies sold on the small screen. If you don't believe me take a look at this.

The future of movies isn't big, it's small.

I'm Not The Only One Sayin' It...

"...yeah, the DVD in itself is such a powerful force for storytelling, especially as a tool for bypassing a studio and a network and going directly to the audience. That’s a very intriguing concept for an artist."

--- Joss Whedon
(Courtesy of Aintitcool News)

End of Year Recap

Okay,

As I do every year, I've pulled a lot of the old check stubs and invoices in an effort to gauge how the old career is going. There's some quantifiable data here, but there's a lot of stuff that while not paying me an immediate check, paid off handsomely, and will continue to do so.

45% of my income for the year was from screen/scriptwriting. That includes: The Creature Movie Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken, The Sound, 2005 DVDX Awards and the 2005 Video Hall Of Fame Awards...

40% of my income this year has come from public relations. This includes work for: PMG, The Los Angeles Times, Fabrication Films, Anthem Pictures, Candy Clothing, Rhino, A filmmaker whose name shall never be spoken in this office again unless there is a curse attached to it, Push Worldwide, Rookie Babe and several other clients...

5% of my income came from marketing - DVD artwork, advertsing consultation, packaging, screenings, etc...

10% of my income came from producing. I got a small check from an option agreement I set up.
----------------------------------

Now, the non-quantifiable stuff:

I went to see my folks and family in SC. I remember why I left, and why I'll still call it home.

I went to see my college friends at my 20 year reunion. I'm still getting emails from that.

I wrote a spec first draft and rewrite of The Skull.

I pitched to five new companies that I haven't pitched before. Some of those projects were theatrical features.

I rewrote both The Knightmare and Wolfsbane.

I moved into a new duplex, changing location after seven years of being right in Hollywood.

I am looking for a manager, but more importantly I have other industry people looking for me as well. Referrals are very important.

I outlined a 12 part comic book anthology.

I wrote two short stories and both were accepted for Tales of the Shadowmen 1, 2.

I have a German director who asked me to write something for him; a story that I am breaking now and hope to finish before the year ends.

I have outlined a TV idea that when brought to fruition will be ground-breaking.
(Aren't they all?)

(Side note to Denis: Did a revise on the idea/concept. I think it will work as a co-production, or at least tickle some purse strings. Also, now more topical)

My draft of The Sound is being shown around town with a theatrical production budget attached. I'm becoming the guy who can write larger budgeted shows.

I wrote a pitch document for an entertainment news show.

Oh yeah, I started this blog and was able to correspond with all sorts of people - colleagues, beginners, companies - on a variety of subjects related to my work. The blog has unburdened me, enlightened me, boldened me and allowed me to network in ways I didn't think possible.

It's been a good year.

Go Back To What You Were Doing...

Feeling much better.

Coughed up a couple of child-sized oysters, and that did the trick.

No need to accuse Silent Bob of anything, yet.

Rewrite Hell-o!!!

I'm going to make this one quick as I feel near death's door and the family dog- Silent Bob - is eyeing me suspiciously, licking his chops and hoping to get that meaty Mr. Bill McMeal instead of kibble. I'm just grateful I don't have a cat or I would have been a goner long ago. Dogs at least wait until you drop. Cats will push you down the stairs then pounce.

Craig Mazin has a great post regarding rewrites and the myth that it's harder to come up with a story whole cloth than it is to rewrite someone.

As someone who has written, has been rewritten, and has rewritten other writer's work - I'm going to say this about the subject (especially when it comes to DVD Premieres):

You will be rewritten.

It's going to happen one way or another. The director does a pass at the script. The dialogue is a bit weak so they bring someone in to punch it up. The actors paraphrase your words instead of learning the script. Improvisation happens.

In the world of low budget movies, you are expected to be part of the team. It doesn't matter if you're the first writer or the last. You're all equal. On Scarecrow Slayer, I came up with what we thought was a good story. David Latt and Joel Newman took my story and made it into a screenplay. Things changed to serve the story and the budget. It was now our screenplay. I had the hard job of coming up with the concept, and David and Joel had the hard time of making it all work.

On The Sound, I came in and rewrote three previous drafts of work. I brought a fresh perspective to it, and solved what the producers felt were 'problems'. Again, it was now our screenplay.

Get over it.
Keep writing.
If you don't hear from me in a couple of days, I name the dog as my killer.

(That is, if he ever gets off the couch)

Damn Those Birds!

Feeling flu-ish so I'm taking it easy and writing from bed and doing the occasional small post for the next couple of days. Sleep is the order of the day and night.

In the meantime, take a moment and tell us all what your plans are for 2006.

More Tales for 2006

Here is the cover to this year's volume of Tales of the Shadowmen. Volume 2 is titled Gentlemen of the Night and features a (very) short story by yours truly.

For those of you who don't know, the Tales volumes are published by Black Coat Press and feature english language short stories about french pulp fiction characters such as Fantomas, Racombole, Lupin and Doc Ardan. They are a lot of fun to write, and readers seem to get a kick out of the stories.

The editors of the series are Randy and Jean-Marc Lofficier who are well known in both comics and animation circles for their work. They now base their operation out of France where they moved last year.

Check it out...

Ken, Your Pimp Hand is Strong!

Ken Levine emailed me today and asked me to do the pimpin' thing for him.
He's got a new blog, and he wants to play in the Scribosphere...

Does the guy who wrote CHEERS, FRAZIER, MASH and THE SIMPSONS need your mad pulp bastard's help?

Naw, but I'm glad to do it anyway. The man's got the mojo.

Pimped here. Link to follow after the holidays when I clean house.

Fear of Clowns

I had a request in the last post from "Aric Blue" to critique the poster for his upcoming Lions Gate release. (Congratulations!)

1. First off, let me say Aric has a good case of hucksterism going because he got me to post his artwork and essentially pimp his film for him. Sam Arkoff would be proud!

2. Not a bad picture per se, but what's happening? Answer: Nothing. This is one of those 3/4 shots you see all the time with action flicks only in their case, they put a scene from the movie in the lower right corner. You don't have any stars in this film except the Clown concept, so you really have to amp that sucker up.

3. I would have given it a wilder, whackier title treatment.

4. "Laugh and you're dead" is not a great tagline. Kind of bland actually. I would have said (off the top of my head), "This is no laughing matter," or, "He'll have you in stitches," or "You'll laugh your head off, " or even, "He's dead serious." Some sort of pun.

5. So what would I have done differently?

a) Used a different shot where the clown was smiling more broadly and maniacally.
b) Worked in some action with his hands reaching out to get you.
c) The eyes are dead, but that may be the motif of the movie. If given the option, I would have altered them to make them wilder and more maniacal.
d) I would have tilted the image slightly - given it a "dutch angle" - to visually increase the weirdness and suspense factor.
e) I would have given it a background, either a circus scene or a different color in order to make the white of his face, and the box in general pop off the shelf more.

Aric, did you guys make up this artwork or did LG?

Either way, best of luck to you. Have Lions Gate send me a copy.

Marketing Your Movie: What Not To Do Pt. 1

I am sure this will make the rounds - I saw this one on Aintitcool News.

Let's pick this apart, shall we?

1. The way they have spelled MI:3 makes it say "Milll."

2. The globe is okay for a background, but it would have been nice to see some of the movie's hotspots pointed out. Just something to give us an idea where the story is going to take place.

3. The match is a bit of action, but does it say suspense thriller? (That's what MI is by the way, not a shootout, or motorcycle chase. These agents operate in the shadows. They did their job so well, the bad guys never knew they were being 'taken" until the end. It's not a "whodunnit" show, but a "Howtheygonnadoit" show.)

4. My suggestion would have been something a little more spy-oriented, several files with names and faces on them from the cast, being burned by the match. Little clues about the characters they play in the movie. A different title treatment that recalled the old school "file stamp," but updated it for today's audiences.

Something that said this is a "nail-biting spy thriller."

A real tease of a poster instead of this...thing.

Thoughts? What does this poster say to you?

It's What We Do

There's a bit of discussion on the old Kung Fu Monkey about the Blue Beetle, a character that John Rogers and Keith Giffen and Cully Hamner are re-inventing /introducing/imagining for DC Comics.

Now someone calling themself "Ted Kord's Ghost" is complaining about why they killed the character of the Blue Beetle off (The Ted Kord version, not the previous Dan Garrett version), and are now re-launching him. John makes the arguement that he and Keith didn't kill off Ted Kord, but you know what?

I wouldn't blame him if he had.

It's what we do.

As writers it's our job to make things absolutely tough for our characters. Impossible even. It's our job to give them weaknesses that no normal person could ever overcome. It's our job to give them so much baggage that it would take an entire cadre of SkyCaps to load it all up onto the plane.

It's our job to fuck them up any way we can, not for the sake of fuckin' 'em up, but for the sake of the story.

You remember story, right?

So, "Ted Kord's Ghost," get over it. Spank your inner moppet. Load up a couple of hankies. Talk to a thera-pissed. Pour over those old Charltons that are now as brown as the tea I'm drinking, and wank off to the good old days. Whatever.

This is our job, and in order for us to do it well, (imaginary) characters such as the likable Mr. Kord have to eat a bullet every now and then.
They have to break up with their girlfriends.
They have to argue and do stupid, weak things.
They have to drink.
They have to put themselves in situations where there is no possible hope of survival.

It's all so they can remind us why they're called heroes in the first place. Because heroes overcome all the crap that kill lesser men, or if they don't overcome it, they sure as hell stand up to it.

It's a Really Big Shoe!

--Or --

"If you Don’t Get the Reference I’m Going to Punch You in the Throat."

So there it was – Four in the afternoon and I had just sent off the last draft of the 2006 Video Hall of Fame Awards script. I unclenched the colon and relaxed. Then Roy, the guy I share an office with and my producing partner, asked me if I was going to the show.

Boy Genius: Yes! Go! Go!
Me: I’m tired...

Translation to follow:

I really hate seeing my work performed live. Hate it. Despise it. It absolutely holds no thrill for me whatsoever, and just sends my blood pressure through the ceiling. The moment I have an embolism is the moment I’m going to be watching someone performing my work live.

I can stand read-throughs because it’s just rehearsal isn’t it? I can watch dailies, and pick out how the editor is going to cut it together to make it work. I don’t get nervous I get focused.

Live? It’s a whole other story.

Besides that, this is an event, and I happen to be the guy who always shows up in a Clash t-shirt and jeans to these things. I know I’m going to be severely underdressed. It’s not worth it.

----------------------------------------------------------

So Roy picks up the phone and calls The Manager, and says I’m not going to the show.
Oh boy is she pissed!
She has Roy give me the phone. Long story short, I’m putting on a nice shirt and jacket and going to the show just so I can be there and meet people and have a free meal. I just hope that the hearing on the left side eventually comes back.

I call Funny Girl over at The Studio, and catch her as she’s leaving and ask her for a ticket to the show. I don’t need the dinner; I just want to be there. She says to call her when I get there and she’ll get me in the back to watch the show.

Boy Genius: Yippee! We’re going to the show!!!

I tell Roy (who’s already going because he has better connections than I do, and wangled a ticket long before I was even hired) that there better be a good bar there, because I’m going to need it.

Roy: There’s a good bar. Though it might be hard to get to...
Me: Why?
Boy Genius: Uh oh...
Roy: This is Home Entertainment. These people don’t stray too far from the bar.
Me: But can they take a punch?
Boy Genius: Good boy!

So we get to the Beverly Hilton Hotel, right across from Robinsons May there on Wilshire and Santa Monica. We park ($14 for self-park! Aargh!), and go inside. Lots of glass and marble and people in all forms of dress were there. Mostly suits though, and I could feel their predatory eyes on my leather jacket and shirt.

Me: Where’s the bar?
Roy: Let’s get you a dinner first...
Me: Huh?
Boy Genius: Shut up, it’s free food!

We wangle a bit, and talk to the folks from Variety – The Children’s Charity, and get me a free plate at this $200 a plate dinner. Roy has low friends in high places.

We go to the bar and get drinks. No bloodshed involved. (Though there was this older woman who gave me a look. I looked back and she averted her eyes.) Then we bump into Scott Hettrick, our intrepid Editor-In-Chief who tells me everything is going well so far and that people are pleased.

Me: Well, the show hasn’t started yet...
Boy Genius: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

And then, a beautiful woman walks up, excuses herself and whispers in Scott’s ear. Scott hands her his copy of the script that he’s carrying. The woman then takes the script and turns away to head back into the crowd when Scott pipes up:

Scott: Funny Girl, have you met the writer, Boy Genius?
Boy Genius: Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, Funny Girl is also a Hottie. Funny Girl = ohsoyummy hotness!

She smiles and comes back over to me! Quick hug and a wonderful sniff of her perfume.

Funny Hottie Girl: I’m sorry, I have to run off. Alex wants to make some more notes on the script...
Me: (To anyone listening) Can I get another drink?

So Alex is making the script, “his own,” and I’m pacing around the bar area drinking vodka tonics like they’re going out of style, waiting for them to open the Grande Ballroom and get the show started. If I hurry, I can eat and finish dessert before the show even starts!

No such luck.

The curtains part and reveal the Grande Ballroom. As we are going inside Roy introduces me to several folks as the writer of the show. I shake hands, nod my head and just stare at the production before me, all the while thinking how I can sew Roy's lips together with the knife and napkin on the table so he’ll shut up.

We go to our table and there’s a big honkin’ salad there ready to go. Cool. The waiter puts my napkin in my lap and graces the lettuce with a bit of ranch dressing. We start in as the wine is poured (Thank you, God!).

I finish the salad and look at the gift bag next to my chair – for me? Oh, very cool. About $200 bucks retail full of DVDs – one of which is the Fantastic Four DVD coming out tomorrow!

Me: Jeeeeeessssssssiiiiiicccccccaaaaaa!
Boy Genius: Shut up, I'm eating.

Then the lights dim and it begins. Nice, modern stage with intricate trusses with all sorts of lights and futuristic gobos swirling color and patterns all over. Three big projection screens with videos and stills dominate the room. A couple of speeches from the charity before my stuff begins...

Then they announce Alex Trebek using my words.

Me: Where’s the waiter. I need wine.
Boy Genius: Shut up. It’s over with. Let it go and enjoy it.

So Alex started talking and I kept listening to what he was saying, and I recognized some of the words, but not all of them...

That bastard wasn’t sticking to the script!

Then he got to my first big joke after his “Welcome speech”...

And I was gold.

Everyone laughed. I put down my wine glass that I was going to shatter and use to carve my initials in Alex Trebek’s chest while I yelled, “How you like that, Alex?” (You have to phrase it in the form of a question)

I breathed deep and went to finish my steak. It was over, and now I could enjoy the show. He was going to go off script as the mood struck, but whatever else was going to happen – it started off with a bang, and I did that.

Me: Wow. I did that.
Boy Genius: Again with the talk? I'm eating here...

The rest of the show moved along well. I ate a cool dessert right when they started presenting the award to Ben Feingold of Sony.

Amazing man. Understated to a point of self-deprecation. This is a guy who truly was one of the pioneers of getting DVDs into the hands of folks like you and me. He was one of the guys who was convinced that the business wasn’t in the rental of DVDs (like video before it), but was in the selling of DVDs. You like the look and format of the Spidey DVDs? This guy had a lot to do with it. You play with a PSP or watch flicks on your PS2? This guy had a lot to do with it.

Then came Avi Arad. The CEO of Marvel Studios/Entertainment/Enterprises. He walks out after a genuinely hilarious speech by Fox Chairman Tom Rothman, dressed all in black like he just got off the front lines of some black-ops war. He has on black BDU’s for chrissakes!

Being a Marvel geek like I am, it was a very cool moment, and it was nice of him to say wonderful things about everyone who has been involved in the creation of the characters that Marvel owns. Arad feels a sense of stewardship toward fans and the characters. He wants the Marvel movies done right. Period.

Then came Warren Lieberfarb – The Godfather of DVD. This was the obstinate muther (I’m being kind, he’s been called worse) who started it all, didn’t take no for an answer; and made all the companies sit down and come up with a standard for DVDs, so that the Home Entertainment industry could move forward.

Lieberfarb introduced Wal-Mart as retailer of the Year. So how did they earn that position?

One-third of all DVDs in the US are sold through Wal-Mart making them the largest DVD retailer in the world. ‘Nuff said.

All in all it was a good evening. I got a few business cards, a few chuckles and I walked out with a ton of DVDs and some more knowledge about the industry and the people in it.

The industry is in a growth spurt, and like all adolescent periods of life, there’s going to be fits and starts, but damn it, it's really exciting too.

Here’s some of the info I promised:

1. Home entertainment generated $25 Billion this year thus far.
2. Theatrical has generated $9 Billion.
3. Television has generated $16 Billion.
4. TV DVD is currently the “saviour” of the DVD industry, accounting for the biggest growth sector of the market and generating about $3 Billion this year.
5. There is a lot of new technologies competing for the DVD dollar – Video On Demand (VOD), IPod and PSP, self serve DVD kiosks in places like McDonald’s and other non-traditional stores, broadcast downloads to cell phones.

Things are changing boys and girls. We have to be prepared to put on a nice shirt and jacket and go to those places where we can change with it.

My Video Hall of Fame Adventure

... or How I Spent My Weekend

Once upon a time (Friday noon) I was working at my desk when I get a call from Scott Hettrick, Editor-in-Chief of Video Business. Scott tells me they are running against a deadline for Monday’s 25th annual Video Hall of Fame Awards. Nobody’s happy with the script and it needs a rewrite.
Okay cool. Scott was my boss for the 2005 DVD Exclusive Awards Show, and he knows what I can do. My mentor needs my help. It was total serendipity.

Scott: Oh and by the way, Boy Genius; since they are bringing in the talent, you won’t be working for me; you’ll be working for The Studio.
Me: (to my Boy Genius self) We have cracked the studio wall!
Boy Genius: We?! They want me...
Scott: We’re finalizing everything now. Someone from The Studio will give you a call to negotiate and get you moving. (cue ominous music)
Me: Beautiful. Where should I send my first born child?

Long story short, the very kind and Funny Girl calls me from The Studio. We negotiate the rate. She confirms everything via email, and I’m off and running. She sends me the first draft of the show script and says it’s running a little long.

Boy Genius: Okay. How long?
Funny Girl: About an hour....

Oh boy.

Friday night:

While the rest of you were out in the bars, or home downloading internet porn (yeah, you!), this Boy Genius was home at the desk with a script in one hand and a red pen in the other. Editing, re-editing, polishing and hacking away at this script. Production is counting on me to make their lives easier. Talent is counting on me to make them appear funny and warm.
I’m just hoping I don’t screw this up.

Saturday:

I forego the cartoons and get into the business of re-structuring things and polishing it all up for a first draft. About four hours later I look to my printer and the first draft is spitting out of the computer. I glance at the pages as they come, and laugh at my wonderful Boy Genius.
Then I go have lunch... I come back to work, I look at the script:

Me: Boy Genius, uh this doesn’t look as good as when you showed it to me the first time.
Boy Genius: What?! Impossible...uh, crap...

Damn. Back to work.

Saturday night:

I send off my first pass secure in the knowledge that it will dazzle and delight.

Sunday morning:

No dazzle. No delight. Not even Dee-lite. I send two more revisions to everyone based on overnight emails and wait for the fallout. There are about seven people listed in the emails that I have to serve with this script. No pressure. Not a bit.
Oh, did I mention that while I was writing, I was receiving emails every half-hour like the following?

Michael Chiklis is going to present the award to Marvel.
Rebecca Romijn is going to present the award to Marvel. You have to re-write it.
Julian McMahon is gonna do it. You have to re-write it.
Famke Jannsen is gonna do it now. You have to re-write...
James Marsden...Craaaap!
Sorry Boy Genius, we don’t know who’s going to present the award to Marvel. We won’t know until the day of the show. Just keep writing.

Boy Genius: Relax, Bill, you're working for The Studio.

Singleton can't make it. Rewrite it.

More re-writing, fact-checking, joke punching and theme-building.
Then Funny Girl at The Studio sends the script off to the host of the show.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Alex Trebek!

Boy Genius: Cool, I’m writing for Mr. Jeopardy! Okay, more re-writes!

Monday:

Lots of notes, corrections, drafts and phone calls. Right up until they said, "It’s Showtime!"

Now let me give you guys a few tidbits about writing for these live events:
You write it.
You rewrite it.
You keep rewriting it until absolutely the last second when it has to go to talent and teleprompter.
Once it gets into the talent’s hands – let go. They are going to do whatever strikes them at the moment. They go with the flow of the audience. It is not like film or television. It's live!
Your job as the writer is to provide them a map so that they don’t get lost along the way.
Keep it simple, memorable and upbeat. This is a celebration, not a memorial.


Next Time: It's a really Big Shoe!

25th Anniversary of the Video Hall of Fame

Some of you have been wondering what I've been doing this weekend with the job that came up so suddenly...

Well, it was the Video Hall of Fame Awards and I was called in to write the show. I received the call on Friday, worked Friday night and Saturday (all day), sent my first pass out Sunday noon. Rewrote like hell all day Sunday on through to showtime tonight at 8:45 pm.

The dinner was excellent. The drinks even better (all free, baby!), and I walked away tonight with some great contacts, some ideas and of course, free DVDs (Fantastic Four!!!!!)

I'll go into more detail tomorrow after I sleep. There were some things said tonight that are really important in that they offer insight into how the home entertainment segment of the industry sees itself, and how important the next five years will be to writers and producers. All this and some facts and figures.

My Weekend Work

Well, the mentoring thing paid off as I am doing a rewrite at the last minute:

I am writing for Doctor Doom, a man who puts us all in Jeopardy, Sam and a real Marvel of a producer...

I have work to do.

Your mad pulp bastard,

B

Get The Job Done!

This is going to be a quick one guys as I am writing a treatment for my German colleagues to pitch to their funding sources and hopefully get me a job in 2006.

(Zoran, if you're reading this I am going back to work. You will have the first draft of the treatment this weekend as promised...)

So, Denis and Alex are talking about Craig's post on mentoring. My contribution to this discussion is that mentors are everywhere and that's part of the reason I answer emails and write this blog - to give you the advice you need to write and produce movies to professional standards. Because, if I can do it, any schmoe can. Trust me.

The best mentors in my experience have been those guys and gals (Hi Christy!) who just expected me to get the job done. They didn't care how I did it (as long as I didn't hurt the rep of the company) as long as I got results.

They threw me to wolves and expected me to get a lot of batting practice saving my ass.

And believe me, I screwed up. I've got the scars to prove it. But I also went back and fixed it and made sure it didn't happen again. More importantly, I learned.

Then, when it came time to pitch projects or make sales or represent the company at functions - I got to do it. When it came time to make sure the picture got produced, I got the credit for my work in making that happen.

I met a lot of people along the way. Now, I have the opportunity to work with one of them from Germany.

So when a mentor gives you something to do - use it. Opportunity is often disguised as hard work. It doesn't make it less of an opportunity.

*** as I was writing this, the phone rang and I just got a referral for a weekend rewrite job from one of my mentors. That's what mentoring can do for you - pay the rent. More details as they occur ***