Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year!

Now get back to work...hangover and all. No, don't look at me like that.

No, I don't care if you're bleeding from your orifices all at once. That'll teach you to drink that stuff your "Uncle George" brought to the party. And don't expect me to mop up after you either! When I was a kid we had to walk ten miles in the snow to school, bleeding from our orifices - both ways! (The route not the bleeding). That's how we knew how to get home in a snowstorm - we just followed the trail. Then, when the spring thaw hit we had to go out and mop the sidewalks. You could see hundreds of kids mopping away.

What a sight, I tell you. That's a springtime!

Anyway, you should have known better. You remember the last party when he brought that stuff. He got so drunk he felt you up in the laundry room? Couldn't even grab the right things he was so blind! Ended up sucking on your big toe like it was a...well, that's our George.

You keep drinking that stuff you'll end. Up. Just. Like. Him. A watchamacallit...?

Oh yeah, President.


Aric Blue said...

Ha! Joke's on you! I'm married with a 2 year old, so I didn't even go out last night! No drinking! I'm completely un-hungover on New Year's Day. My body doesn't understand what's going on!

Bill Cunningham said...

They actually allowed you to reproduce?!

Somebody call Big Brother, he's passing on his "horror genes."